Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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