the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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