All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize