Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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