So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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