thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize