..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
