Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
