A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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