What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
