I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
