there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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