I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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