I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
