this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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