so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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