Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I enjoy the company of your penis
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
