guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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