I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
