I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
