what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
