Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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