As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
