he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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