Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
