you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
