uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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