I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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