you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
your like the ambassador to my penis.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
