so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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