Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
