she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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