Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
