and my herpes radar will keep us safe
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize