so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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