There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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