just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
