today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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