Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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