Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
And then my night got REAL pukey
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
