Banned from zoo.
Again?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize