it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize