I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
