Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
