I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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