thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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