Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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