Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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