OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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