When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So here I am, sexting at work.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
