Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
