Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
