Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
