I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
