Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
