I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Found the puke drawer
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
