I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
