how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
