I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
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She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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