"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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