Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize