but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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