The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
